In my last post I wrote about my decision to rid my house of what I’ve deemed unnecessary possessions in an effort to find some freedom from both owning and feeling owned by things. As I embarked on this path which feels very unfamiliar and even somewhat uncomfortable, although teeming with possibilities and the promise of peace and ease, I knew I needed to start in my wheelhouse.
For me, that meant planning. And more planning. And even a little more planning with some color coded organization and a numbering system and perhaps a complicated graphic that makes sense to only me and which takes approximately two days and all of my brain matter to create.
But I digress. So I started planning out the rules or boundaries I would set. What would the framework of my minimizing look like?
Would I simply start throwing away anything that no longer sparked joy, similarly to what The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up advises? (In that case, goodbye pants, bras, vegetables, and societal expectations.) Would I create a capsule wardrobe and start only wearing black and one bright statement piece? Would I just start haphazardly piling my belongings into a bin and chucking them out onto the curb, later feeling pangs of regret or waste?
All of these thoughts ran through my mind, and although they seem like simple cliches of minimalism, they are all themes on the subject, and they represent real worries and thought patterns that I had. I knew that for this journey to be meaningful and for it to stick, I had to really and carefully define my own boundaries and create my own set of “rules” to follow. What I came up with is below.
This rule coincided perfectly with the start of my no-spend June. My plan was not to buy anything that was a nonessential (gas, groceries, bills), so while groceries aren’t always beautiful, they are both useful and necessary for my continued survival.
Not every item is going to fit each of these descriptors, but I think it’s important to take the time to consider each when making a purchase. If something isn’t useful or necessary, you may not need it at all, but if it is remarkably beautiful and it brings you joy, you may want to bring it into your home for your own happiness.
Minimizing doesn’t have to mean cutting out the things that bring you joy; it just means making sure that the things you surround yourself with truly do bring that joy and simplifying or eliminating what does not.
This rule stems largely from the aforementioned The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and was a total a-ha moment for me: the realization that I was keeping thing in my home that made me feel bad when I looked at them. I was inviting stress, guilt, and sadness into my sanctuary by way of these wayward possessions. Why do we keep things that don’t bring us joy?
For me, these items were generally gifts I had been given that weren’t quite the right fit. Although gifted with beautiful intentions, and from people whom I love, these things were making ME feel terrible that I didn’t use them. Why waste something perfectly good by not using it and making myself feel bad at the same time when someone else could be using and loving it? This category may also include items such as: clothes that don’t fit you, materials for hobbies you’ve long since abandoned, anything belonging to an ex, and things that just don’t fit your personality or lifestyle anymore. (No guilt! It’s YOUR house!)
When we purchased our first house last year, it felt like we needed to buy a ridiculous amount of things. We had a yard now, so we needed a mower, rake, shovel, and the list went on and on.
We also had a variety of small home-improvement type projects to do on the inside and it for those too it felt like we needed to buy ALL the things! Quite honestly, neither of B or I are exceptionally handy, so the likelihood that we’d use a lot of tools or equipment frequently is not high. Luckily we were able to borrow from friends and family for most of our projects! You might think you “need” something, but it may be a temporary need. See if you can borrow before you buy.
This rule comes straight from the pages of More or Less by Jeff Shinabarger, which I will credit fully with kicking off my very deep interest in minimalism. I could rave about this book for three blog posts, but this rule summarizes the biggest lesson I learned while reading it. You have to decide what is enough for you. You must realize that you have great excesses in your life.
When you start to compare your life to someone else’s (as we so often do on social media), don’t only compare yourself to the people who have more than you. Keep enough perspective to realize that you have so much more than so many others. Acknowledge your excess and decide what is enough for you. Not what is enough to keep up with the Joneses, but what is simply enough for you to live your life without lacking any essentials.
Marketing is GOOD, y’all. Consumerism is hard to pull yourself out of. Heck, Facebook tracks your history and knows exactly what ads to show you so you will want to buy ALL THE THINGS!
You have to decide (separately from social media and with a clear and comparison-free mind) what is enough for you.This can be extremely eye-opening if you are used to operating from a mindset of “never enough” and fixating on what you lack.
This one goes well with Rule Four. Don’t let outside influences tell you what is enough or not enough for you. Don’t be pressured to obtain more clothes, accessories, gadgets, etc.
Listen to what your heart says about your purchasing habits. It’ll tell you everything you need to know!
So those are the rules I’ll be following as I continue down my path of simplifying, eliminating, and soul-searching on what is actually a necessity in my life and what is part of my excess. Stay tuned as I share how I’m putting these rules into practice, and if you want to see even more, join our Facebook community as we talk all about minimalism this month!
Are there any rules you would add?
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